Public breakups

This morning, as I was driving to work; I slid in my favorite playlists and started sorting through the selections of tracks (an annoying habit I normally find myself doing even though the playlist has only my favorite music on it).

And it stopped at Wrecking Ball; yup, Miley Cyrus’s wrecking ball…

With the sound of her voice, a scene from the track’s video appeared in my mind; and not the quirky one which you find her sitting on a big wrecking ball but her face, her painted red lips, her eyes and her pale skin. Immediately, the memories of her very public break up with Liam Hemsworth came into mind. I began wondering what she must have gone through when Liam broke off their engagement… the tone of her voice behind the song; just made me wonder… her sudden switch from American kids most loved star to Parental Guidance/Advisory star…

But celebrity status or not; she is still human, she is still a woman and the enormity of a break up can simply crush the whole of you, like a wrecking ball.

Even us; many of whom are not celebrities; public break ups is an ugly thing to go through. I remember mine; a very public one after a very publicly discussed engagement… it was horrendous, it was like a nightmare with no end in sight… And to imagine the fact that I never discussed this brief engagement with anyone but my family…

I was young and probably a bit engulfed in society’s ideal way to live. I asked him to make it formal, so I could see him without shame whenever I wanted to; that was all I asked for and I think that was all what was seen by both parties. Never did I think though that the African traditional family like mine; would require a more complicated procedure than just a word of promise from both parties that indeed in the future we could plan towards a companionship of eternity…

And then the break up happened and for months, I hadn’t spoken about any of the events that lead to that very moment… I was just trying to formulate the sentences and probably understand what had happened but society didn’t allow me to explain or even finish…..They whispered to one another whenever I drove past. Starred wistfully. Asked my parents. Asked my family.

In those moments; I wished I was sitting on a wrecking ball, one like Miley’s. I wished I had a voice to explain in my song what had happened.  I just wished people wouldn’t have been so cruel and would have just tried to listen to me…

Public breakups are ugly. The stares one receives makes one wonder if one is of a different species other than human… Things don’t work out and maybe it’s actually for the better (most at times it is). What I learnt from that period is something I have come to appreciate every day of my life.

God is indeed preparing the road for a better fellowship of companionship with your personal person. Learn to speak with him during these times and trust me; one’s soul will find soothing.




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