Every day, I wake up and wonder God’s plan for me. I have been this fortunate, I have been lucky in every single way.
I have a bubbly attitude and barely get sad. I believe in no matter what situation; I should smile. But sometimes it hurts to.
I look around my life and I feel a loss. I have nothing but yet everything. I have good looks, great physique, a very nice job with benefits and packages and awesome friends whom think I am adorable. Yet I feel empty.
I feel empty because I am almost 30 in 9months and in the society that I was raised in; all my intelligence, smartness and career status mean nothing if I do not have a partner and a little family to show for it. For this independent and strong woman; it hurts.
It hurts because I was raised to believe and hope that all this would fall in place easily…… No one told me it was this hard. No one told me that society judges you, cruelly. They judge the woman whom brought you into this world. They pass comments on her: “When is your first daughter getting married”? And she in turn passes me her looks. Her hopeful stares.
She thinks this doesn’t affect me? I want to be married, no doubt. But I also know what I DONT want.
I am a Christian woman; I believe Marriage is the greatest institution created by God. It is not for our benefit alone but it is also to prepare us for a union with Christ. I want to be unified with God one day, but before that I want to teach my children the right things; hence they can make better decisions.
But how can all this happen with the wrong partner? Is there anything too hard for the Lord to resolve? No. Yet I would not lock my life with a man who has attitude, thinks he’s doing me a favor and sees me as a weaker vessel and not his best friend.
This is the world we live in today. African women like me and you are being judged because they do not want to settle for less. Because they do not want to be in an eternal prison of companionship. Because they do not want to get married and then get divorced.
And yet many of us give up; along the way because it’s the only way to receive any sorts of respects from our society. We give up and settle for whomever and then we say to encourage ourselves: Hmmm… we will leave it up to God.
Well, newsflash: God doesn’t settle for compromises. He wants us to be happy; we are His children and He is our father. I do not think He enjoys being blamed at all times for our failures. He will help and direct you if you truly are patient and call on Him.